Stand Up

I did standup for the first time last night. It's highly addictive. The second I was done, I wanted to go up and do the whole thing over again. It's funny, you can only prepare so much before stepping up on the stage and instantly forget everything you memorized and rehearsed.

Thought i'd be chill to post my notes/set so check it out below. The video from the show should be up sometime this week or next.

Interesting thing... after forgetting some jokes, I started doing a Drake impression, I also didn't really preface it so not sure if anyone besides my friends got it.

Also real quick shoutout to my bffae Harrison (@DurtyHarriet) on some great lines.

Rated R

--JONAH STANDUP FINAL--

Standup Final 

Dog Bit. 

1. So this is my first time doing standup, i'm pretty confident though this women outside stopped me on the street, i swear this actually happened, and she goes "Hey Jonah, you look really hot tonight" I blushed, gave her a huge, and just said "Thanks Mom"
2. I really like girls with a lot of personality. I really don't care about looks. I'd even prefer my girlfriend to be kind of ugly that way there's no ego thing, like “im better looking than you, why am I with you if everyone knows I can get chicks way hotter” type thing. So I started dating this Vicotrias secret model. It’s a pretty good thing so far, tons of depth in our relationship. Sometimes we’re in bed and I’m just thinking “even though I could do way better, I’m settling for you because you don’t mind that I still have spiderman bed sheets and occasionally have wet dreams at the age of 22.” It’s a real healthy relationship
   
   
   So halloween happened. Anyone here get dressed up as a slutty mouse or slutty cat? You know women love it because its the only time during the year that its "acceptable" to wear underhwere and a bar as an outfit. And for some reason us men see this holiday fit to wear spandex. Now. this might pose a problem at dance parties. This girl turned to me and said woah you have an  literally have an erection and I was like woah you literally have a i single thing layer of cloth separating my penis from you're vagina.
   
   
   Anyone hear heard of Facebook.com? It's invite only you probably haven't. People will post anything on that thing. Cabo. Booked. Great let's make everyone feel bad that they aren't going to cabo.
   - i'm going to cabo…
   - facebook is kind of old school though, you the relationship status part? You can be married, it can be complicated, engaged or just single. See there leaving a lot out there. I'd like there to be one that's like "SLaying mad bitches" or "Alone, thinking about giving up on women completely moving to antartica and living with penguins." I've thought about it.